Alright people. I’m going to tell you what I want you to know in the beginning of my paper rather than the last like normal. But you should still read the entire thing.

Life Is. There that’s what I want you guys to know. Life Is. Life is consisted of a lot of things. Life is unexplained on so many levels that it’s not even fathomable. It is so complex and consists of so many events, memories, feelings, wants, needs, thoughts, actions and obstacles that if you had them all at once you would feel so many things at once you would lose your mind. That’s why life is summed up so easy. Life Is. Life is what you make it people. Don’t keep blaming the hood, don’t keep blaming your dead end job, don’t keep blaming your ‘rents, don’t keep blaming God, don’t keep blaming anyone but yourself. You make and shape your life. Others can influence you, they can shape you a little but ultimately you are the one that makes the most of it. You are the only one that can feel what you are feeling. You are the only one that knows what you are thinking. You are the only one who controls your life. Sure there are rules set in place for you but are those really things that control you. You can always break the rules.

Life Is. Unexplained. But you can try to explain it as much as you want but you quickly realize what you think is a good way to describe it is thrown off by some event in your life. Although everyone knows something about life. Like I know that it’s not supposed to be wasted by chasing things that aren’t important. I know that I want to make the most of my life. Making the most of it meaning that I make it as good as possible. Spending as little time feeling bad and spend the most I can feeling really good. Alright guys I don’t know the original person who said this but in the movie “Kung Fu Panda” the master says this: “Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, But today is a gift, That’s why it’s called the Present.” I think that explains life as good as any one sentence can.

You can’t change or do anything about the stuff that happened yesterday. It’s basically set it stone. You never know what tomorrow is going to bring. Happiness? Sadness? Job offering? Death threats? New friendships? Heartbreak? A fight? You simply don’t know. It could throw anything your way. You just have to be ready. Every single day is a gift. Even if terrible stuff happens know that it wasn’t in vain. God was doing something in your life for your future. If you can point out the gift in every day and then thank Him, then your life will hardly ever feel really bad.

I write because I think a lot. I like to know everything I can about everything. When I don’t know something that I want to know then I usually try to find the answer. I’ll never know the answer to life and that’s why I write about it. I write on it because we all have it. We all have different outlooks on it. We all have different stories. We all have different memories and we all have different thoughts. That’s life. We are all unique but at the same time some of the things we have are the same. Some stories are scarily similar. Sometimes we think the same stuff. So we can help each other through things. Which is exactly what Taylor did. She helped me when no one else stepped to the plate to talk to me. To see what’s up. Why I feel like I feel. And I appreciate it. So what if we all stepped to the plate and made the world a simple and better place. Why are we as a society growing father apart from everyone else. How come we don’t want to talk to the stranger who might need a simple conversation. How come we don’t pull over to help the person with the broken down Mercedes. Is it because you think he has money and you don’t have enough? How come we don’t look for things to do to help people? I don’t know the answer but I do know that we should. I do know that we should be helping people in everyway possible.

Alright instead of telling you all my rants and raves there is something else I want to hit on. The things that make life Life. Ok? There are a few things that I have noticed make life worth living. That have the biggest impact upon a persons life. Firstly and probably the biggest is love. The four-lettered word that seals the fate of many. Good or bad. Love is an emotion that is easily capable of throwing your life in a upward OR downward spiral. Love is something that people feel but can’t accurately explain. Because that’s how it was designed by Him. Love is supposed to be something special between two people. Not something said just to say it. I encourage all of you to only say it if you mean it. And if you say it, don’t ever regret saying it. Don’t ever forget what you felt when you said it. Don’t ever forget why you said it. Alright so the second thing that I see effecting lives today is conformation. Everyone is wanting to fit it and conform to what society says is good or will make you better. People I tell you that you should be an individual who doesn’t conform. You don’t have to dress like the movie stars, buy the trash talking CD’s, do drugs, skip classes, or do everything everyone else tells you that you should do. It’s your life so live it like YOU want to. Something that I have been noticing a lot lately is that people are really insecure and far from courageous and/or confident. I have been seeing a lot of teens putting other teens names in their mouth. Talking bad about them, when the truth is they know nothing about them. I’m telling you about me. I’m the talk of the town where I walk around. I hear my name everywhere. Why? Because I’m different. Because I treat people like they should be. Because I don’t sag my pants pretending what I’m not. Because I get good grades to secure a good future. Because I’m successful and going to make my dreams come true? Guys when you see this going on. Just know you are doing something right. You should know that you aren’t conforming and others are noticing. Alright peeps, the third thing that I have noticed that effects life in a huge way is emotions. Have you noticed that what you are feeling on the inside and thinking on the inside can make your world seem so much different? I have. Recently I became oober angry at the world. And basically I saw the world as a stupid place that hated me as a person. And really 6.7 billion people don’t even know it. Stupid huh? And when I feel sad I feel like the world should be sad too. It’s dumb things like this that can effect you and everyone around you. So why wouldn’t you want to be as happy and clear thinking as you can all the time? You would want it all the time right? Well it starts now. Don’t let the weight of the world hold you down. You should be at the top of the world. Recently I started listening to a song called on top of the world. And I couldn’t stop listening to it. It is pretty much exactly what I’m trying to get across. Basically it talks about going from the bottom to the top and staying there. On Top of The World. Sounds great doesn’t it? Lets all go stand up there. All 6.7 billion people.

Life Is. Amazing. Summed up not by what we saw, what we felt and what we want. It’s summed up with the actions we take. Because it is what will define you through your ENTIRE life. We all flirt the tiniest notion, of self-conclusion in one simplified motion. It starts now with change. Together the world we have to take notice. Do it. Comment.

Pray for peace in the middle east, provide food to the hungry, give what you have and receive what you don’t, help to be helped, love to the loveless, be faithful to the faithless, show hope to the hopless for blessed will you be. Revolutions you’ll start. ~ Jay Parker

I love all the readers who actually read my posts. I thank all my friends and fam for inspiration. I love comments. A special thanks to you Tay. Don’t know what you said. But it was the right time.

Start living. Right now. Because Life Is.

10/1/2008

500: goals, quotes, songs, people, teachers, character traits, possessions, and once-in-a-lifetime history facts in order that I think of them from my life. Comment!! Thanks, Jay Parker

Goals:

183. Complete High School

2. Go to college

3. Meet someone new

4. Find a girlfriend

5. Have a job that I like

6. Propose to someone

7. Graduate college

8. Have a good car

9. Get married

10. Have kids

16. Start a business with my friends

17. Have at least $1,000,000 when I retire (possible for even minimum wage workers if you know how)

18. Have a 50^th anniversary

23. Do something important

24. Own property in Pueblo or in the mountains

25. Own a real house (not a apartment or townhouse, (or a box))

26. Build/design my own dream house

30. Viva La Buena Vida (Living the Good Life)

44. Live near a giant lake or marina

79. Have Sean and Alex still as friends when I’m older

80. Have a long term Girlfriend

81. Occasionally travel wherever I want

84. Have a 65^th anniversary

85. Major in something

164. Do something most people call “Crazy”

165. Complete this “500” Thing

166. Donate $50,000 to charity over the course of my life

181. Play Golf in Alaska

182. Go on multiple cruises

Traits:

11. Good Character

12. Honesty

13. Open

14. Don’t care what others think

15. Goofy

19. Courageous

20. Strong

21. Believer

22. Dexterity

27. Friendly

29. Consistent

31. Loveable

48. Awesome

49. Stand up (For everything you believe in)

78. Read like a open book

153. Outgoing

154. Practical

155. Smart

Quotes:

28. To the world you are just one person, but to that one person, you might mean the world

32. Don’t get caught up in something unless it’s going to benefit you. Be willing to work for it. Never let it go. Be persistent with it. Everything happens for a reason.

50. To love someone is nothing, to be loved is something, to love and be loved is everything.

51. Through God we stand as one, but we fight as many

65. Best friends are who you want to be with when you feel like being by yourself

83. Your words are the bricks and mortar of the dreams you want to realize. Your words are the greatest power you have. The words you choose and use establish the life you experience

126. We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same

127. I hope I shall always have firmness and virtue enough to maintain, what I consider the most enviable of all titles, the character of an honest man

128. The best index to a person’s character is (a) how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and (b) how  he treats people who can’t fight back

129. Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment

130. Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.

131. Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees the others

132. Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair but manifestations of strength and resolution

133. Within our dreams and aspirations we find our opportunities

134. If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain

135. It’s a matter of taking the side of the weak against the strong, something the best people have always done

136. Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping him up

137. I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can still do something; I will not refuse to do something I think I can do

138. Those who believe they can do something are probably right – and so are those who believe they can’t

139. He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper

140. Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently

167. Wait not for the one that you can live with, wait for the one that you can’t live without

Songs:

33. Thunder – Boys Like Girls

34. Ally Cat – Sherwood

35. Blue Magic – Jay-Z

36. Hero Heroine – Boys Like Girls

37. Destination Beautiful – Mae

46. Greed – Decemberadio

47. Return – Decemberadio

52. Lost – Needtobreathe

53. With You – Chris Brown

54. Stuntin’ Like My Daddy – Lil Wayne

55. I get money – 50 Cent

56. Embers and Envelopes – Mae

57. Fanatic – Trip Lee

58. Good Life – Kanye West

59. Stonger – Kanye West

66. One Thing – Finger Eleven

86. Show’Em Off – Phanatik

87. Pyramid Scheme – Phanatik

88. World’s Largest Prison – Phanatik

89. Storm the Gates Of Hell – Demon Hunter

90. Thorns – Demon Hunter

91. Pull Me Closer – Project 86

92. Normandy – Project 86

93. Ireland – Garth Brooks

94. Illuminate – Project 86

95. Believe – Grits

96. Tight Wit These – Grits

97. Better Without Me – Grits

98. Identity Crisis – Pigeon John

141. Grow old with you – Tim McGraw

142. Too Strong To Change – Mars Ill

143. Dog Eared Page – Mars Ill

150. Thunder Rolls – Garth Brooks

151. Rodeo – Garth Brooks

152. F.A.N.A.T.I.C – Lecrae

168. Last Words – Thousand Foot Krutch

169. Absolute – Thousand Foot Krutch

170. Letters To The President – Hawk Nelson

171. Bring ‘em Out – Hawk Nelson

172. Phenomenon – Thousand Foot Krutch

173. Jesus Freak – DC Talk

174. Ireland – Garth Brooks

175. Memories of a Immigrant (dollar bill) – Wyclef Jean, Akon, Lil’ Wayne

178. The Tide – The Spill Canvas

179. 3685 – The Spill Canvas

180. Teleport A to B – The Spill Canvas

People:

1. Tara Johnston – Girlfriend, Wife, Love, Amazing, Friend, Advocate

38. Sean O’Connell – Best Friend, True Friend

39. Alex Riddo – Best Friend, True Friend

40. Adrienne Lettow — Friend, Advice

41. Korlyn Neibert – Good Friend

42. Kimber Bailey – Friend

43. Will Bruce – 1^st class screw up, Friend, Comedian

45. Kassandra Brewner – Best Friend, Advice, Good times

60. Athena Lopez – Friend

61. Alyssa Lopez – Friend

62. Trevor Bentley – Friend, Step-Brother

63. Morgan – Friend

64. Emily Sally – Friend, Math Class Joker

99. Dillon Jones – Friend, Joker

100. Lauren – Friend, advice

145. Chris Bugg – Helpful computer guy, friend

157. Scott Sieke – Smart, Funny, Master-of-all-comebacks

161. Doyle – Funny, Skater, Tall friend

162. Lars Lindquist – Faith Christian Attendee, Friend

163. Evan Halcomb – Faith Christian Attendee, Friend

176. Cole Jones – Best Friend, Joker, Lady’s Man

177. Kara Catbaggin – Best Friend Forever, Advice

Possessions:

67. Phone

68. Gold Watch

69. Family

70. Friends

101. Music

102. Speech

103. Sight

104. Christ

105. Life

106. Memories

107. Sports

147. Expression

148. People

149. Animals

158. Internet

159. Communication

160. Relationships

History:

71. 9-11 Acts of terrorism on World Trade Centers (Twin Towers)

72. War in Iraq

73. President Bush in office

78. Bill Clinton in office

82. Mr. Rogers Died

108. Michael Vick charged with dog fighting

109. John Elway elected into the hall of fame

110. NHL Goes on strike

111. Hurricane Ivan

112. Tsunami kills 221,000 people in southeast Asia

113. Ray Charles Dies

114. Mt. St. Helens erupts

115. Martha Stewart in jail

116. Palestinian Leader Yasser Arafat Dies

117. Former President Ronald Reagan dies of Alzheimer’s at 93

118. Voting in Iraq

119. Olympics in Greece

120. Terrorists in Russia down 2 airliners. 89 people were killed

121. “Superman” Christopher Reeves dies at 52

122. Super Bowl Champions: New England Patriots

123. Boston Red Sox win the World Series

124. Russian school tragedy 300 killed due to terrorists

125. Country went on high alert

Teachers:

75. Mr. Campbell – American History (10^th Grade)

76. Mrs. Owens – English (9^th Grade)

77. Ms. Tamborello – American Government (9^th Grade)

146. Ms. Hobkirk – Computer Science (9^th and 10^th Grade)

156. Mr. Byers – English (10^th Grade)

Too Many/ She’s “The One”

So here I sit, early in the morning and can’t sleep. There is simply too many things rushing through my head. I mean why isn’t there? The future is unknown regardless of what you want to happen or even think is going to happen. I have rarely ever really had a plan for my life. I usually lived it by going from place to place and living life like it comes. But as time passes and situations change I realized that I should have a plan for my life. Otherwise it really wouldn’t go anywhere. Too Many times I have let people get to close to my heart too fast. Too Many times I made a wrong choice. Too Many times have I given in to temptation and peer pressure. There are way Too Many “Too many’s” in my life. It stops now… WITH HER… AND RISKING EVERYTHING TO WIN IT ALL. The stakes are like this: Risk losing the closest thing to you, too keep the closest thing to you. It can go either way. I just hope I can walk away without regret.

My teacher tells my class this on a regular basis, “You can not change the past, so why try to live it like its today? Instead, take the opportunites you have today, and build your tomorrow. For tomorrow we’ll call tomorrow today, so LIVE.” I think that explains so much. And even before I ever heard that, that’s exactly how I tried to live. But sometimes I think that if we live TODAY, we might screw up something that will screw up everyday for the rest of your life. In my past I have had girlfriends that have meant a lot to me. Some of them, ended in complete and utter heartbreak. Some of them, ended mutually and we never spoke again. Some of them, ended and we are still friends today. But every relationship I have ever had I put in everything I had. I gave it my all, but somehow it never was good enough. I got cheated on, I got dumped, I got dumped for being TOO GOOD (yeah wtf), I have been chewed out, disrespected and hurt. I grew up wanting to help other people with their problems because I didn’t want anyone to feel like I did. I didn’t want others to hurt. I constantly asked God to change my life. Change it for the better. And I think all those late night sessions of crying and wanting and praying and wishing payed off. I don’t just think so, I KNOW so.

I have said this before but in the midst of me fucking my life over, to nearly the point where it was going to end, to the point where I was getting into so much trouble, to the point where I didn’t think anything would ever change, it did. God saw that where I was not where I should be. He placed a person in my life that would change my life. Forever. And that is something that I can’t even comprehend. How can someone mean so much? How can one person radically change me. Maybe it wasn’t them who was changing me. Maybe it was me subconsciously changing for THEM. Makes sense doesn’t it?

Tara I screwed up. I know I did. I’m announcing it to everyone who could possibly read my page. I wrote another message/letter that was to another person. It was when I was going out with her and I thought that what her and I had was real. But behind the scenes her friends started telling me that she was cheating. I confronted her and she said she wasn’t. Later on in the relationship I found out that what her friends were saying was true. The relationship ended in a horrible manner and we haven’t spoke since. She was one of the couple girls that I have ever said I loved. And when I look at what you and I have compared to what she and I had, I didn’t love her. Not even close. That was a crush compared to what I feel for you. No other girl has made me want to do so much to secure a future. A future for us. I don’t want to spend my life wasting it away. I want to spend it with you. Whether we are spending time watching a movie while cuddled on a couch, whether we are jogging around a lake, whether we are in church, whatever we are doing is worth it. Absolutely worth it. You are worth everything in this world. More than all the women, more than the money, more than my friends, more than my family. You are the only one that means more than any of that. You come second in my life right along side God. You come first to anything in this physical world. I’m dead sorry that you had to doubt me. But don’t, please if there was anytime to trust me it would be right now. You mean far far too much to let go. So let me revise what I had previously written…

Tara, You are The One

So how do you know when you have found the one? What is the one? The one is the one thing in your life that means more than anything else. It could be a prized possession, a physical item, a meaning, a goal. Whatever it may be I encourage you to strive for it, never let it go, never give up on something that means so much. I recently think that I have found “The One.” The one in my life is my girlfriend Tara. She is “the one” for so many reasons. Firstly let me say that she is by far the best girl anyone could ever meet. She is energetic, stunning, funny, calm, hyper, captivating, and caring. If you find someone better than that, well good for you. Tara, you have my entire heart. I give you my everything. You have every last bit of my trust because no one else can keep it. You have my mind because you know everything I don’t tell others. You have my body because I’m not going to give it to someone else. And above all you have my love. I love you more than I do my parents. Like that doesn’t come easy. And this isn’t something I’m doing to say correctly, I’m not trying to deceive you, I’m being honest.

Tara we can talk like there is never going to be a tomorrow. As if we won’t rack up enormous phone bills. I talk to you without hesitation because I trust you. I trust that you aren’t going to just go around saying things I tell you. There is things you know that no one else does. And I’m sure that I know things about you that no one else does. And those things will remain with me forever. And I would hope that you would  too.

I promise that for as long as we live that I’ll do everything I can to protect you, to love you, to encourage you, to be honest with you, to be open, to comfort you, to share my life with you. I’m telling you that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Absolutely forever spend my life with you. I want to move closer to you not only because its where I want to go to school. But so I can be closer to you. So we can talk face to face. So I can hold you when your upset. So we can go have fun doing whatever. Because I want the relationship to grow more than it already has. I want it to be better and stronger. I don’t know if you are mad at me, I don’t know if we are cool. We didn’t get to talk as good or as long as we needed to. But please don’t give up on me, because I’m about to come alive. We have grown so close together, that over something so little, it shouldn’t rip us apart. I don’t want us to end badly, I don’t want us to ever end. Everything I ever said was true. And I know you didn’t lie to me. God is continuing to write our love story. And I guarantee that it will be the best, fullest, most romantic, fairytale-like, Love story that anyone has ever seen. I promise.

Forever and Faithfully yours,

Jaymee Parker

August 16, 2008 – Forever

I’m going to start this off by telling you my side of the story. Like I don’t know much about what you thought about our beginning but I’m going to start at the very beginning.

So somehow on that day God managed to get me to look at your picture on the “Are You Interested Application.” Sounds like a stupid place to meet a girl but hey I’m glad I did. So of course, me being the person I am, I didn’t click anonymous or anything but after I clicked yes I went to your profile and read it. After I was done reading it was good enough that it had somehow captured me. I decided to take a chance and decided to add you as a friend.

From there, I’m pretty sure you send me a message like “Who are you?” or something like that. Or possibly messages on the application. Either way we started talking. And that’s where it truly began: Our story. Firstly let me explain something. Tara you captured me with your words. You didn’t talk like most people your age would. You didn’t sugar coat things and you were just naturally outgoing with a hint of mysterious. Haha. I don’t know if that makes any sense but it’s very true. Well to me.

Now I don’t know what you said to me, or what we talked about exactly but I do know that you started coming into my head more. Just our conversations. Even though I was pursuing other relationships and other people you were kinda always in the background. So doors were shut on certain people. Things happened that pulled other relationships apart. I took the ended relationships kinda hard. I did drugs more than ever, I was constantly depressed, Family problems escalated, and I was seriously considering ending my life. But God had placed one more open door into my life. A wild card, like a door that you couldn’t see the room inside. You didn’t know what you were going to get yourself into. But inside there was one person who I really had an interest in. Just one… Little did I know how it would affect my life.

After the point in which I knew that I wanted to pursue a relationship, I didn’t quite know how to say that I wanted one. I struggled with the thought for weeks. I remember some crying and long all night prayer sessions asking god “how am I supposed to deal with these feelings,” and “how am I supposed to let her know.” I didn’t know how I was going to do it but I realized that I was going to have to let you know eventually. I started wanting to talk to you more. Like on a deeper level to get to know you more. Like the real you. I don’t know what I said, I don’t know what I did but I’m guessing you started to like me. Correct me if I’m wrong. To tell you the truth I don’t even know how I told you I liked you. I just kinda let things take course and God let it happen.

I told God, not asked to make this a relationship worth having. I didn’t want to get hurt yet another time. I wanted us to work out. I wanted God to make it clear that this was his will and something he wanted. In the past I had so many stupid, crazy and hard relationships, most of them ending in heartbreak. So many times I have been faithful but got cheated on. So many times I put my all into a relationship but it still wasn’t enough. So many times I tried to make God the foundation, but the other person wasn’t feeling it. So many times I cleared my schedule, but they were to busy. I don’t know what it is about those things but it’s like putting your heart in a blender. It just hurts. I don’t know if I could explain it better than that.

I went along with his plan not knowing what to expect. Now is the point where I can kinda continue with the story. I know I’m a bad side tracker. Tara we started talking… Well I started talking about everything. I put my trust in you very fast. This is not like me because I have had connection problems since I was a kid. It wasn’t ever easy for me to make friends and talk to people. So as I started just being open I think that you did too. I think that you started talking to me about things you really didn’t talk to others about. So of course we grew closer together. Like so many people who like each other do. You were constantly starting to be on my mind. I stopped doing bad things that I was doing. I stopped making the choices that would leave me more broken in the long run. I wanted to be on the same path you were working towards commitment, and future, and whatever else. And I knew the only way to be on the same path you were was to walk by your side and make the good decisions. Before I told you that I liked you is about the time that I stopped doing drugs. I stopped needing them to take problems away (even if it was only a couple hours.) I stopped looking for other girls. I stopped fighting with my dad. I made some very had choices in my life. I told my dad that I was here when he wanted a son. And he left me alone. I told my friends that I wasn’t going to stop them from doing drugs, but I said they would do it alone. So they stopped too. Everything just had a domino effect. Everything snowballed from what I was doing. Life just seemed to get better. Simple as that. And I think it’s cause I had you. I had you to get up to, to talk to, to confide in, to be there for. I don’t know if you knew any of that but I thought you should.

So when do you know that you found love? People have been struggling with that question forever. People from Gods time to our time. People struggle with it everyday. Its like a question that really can’t be answered to humans. Try as we might. I have my own theory of what it is. I’ll try my best to describe it.

Love – Love is it something that can be described by words? Or is it something that has to be defined by actions? Love is something that is very fragile even to the strongest of relationships. Love is caring unconditionally. Unconditionally meaning that you love just to love. Not because you have to. Not cause you were forced. Not cause that is what you were taught. Its what you want. It means that you would do anything for a person. I think love is that feeling in your heart when you just want to be with someone regardless of what you are doing just because you’d be together. I think love is that fluttering feeling you get when you say I love you to someone. I think love is shown through actions. Not just by saying it. Even if it would be little actions.

I didn’t think I knew what love was until I said I loved you. You took my heart at such a alarming rate and everything seemed alright. I really do love you Tara. You mean the world to me. I would trade the entire world for you and I. I have never felt feelings like this. I have never cared for any 1 person so much. Except for you. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m sure of it. I want to make it to the day that I can get on my knee, pull out a black box and ask you to marry me. I can’t wait till the day that we can walk down that isle with friends and family watching us take that life long commitment. I can’t wait till we are in that emergency room watching a new life unfold. I can’t wait for those countless days that we’ll spend together. I know that you are the one I want to be with. I have never changed so much for any person. And I honestly think that every change I ever made since meeting you was for the better.

Tara, I have made so many mistakes in my life. But you aren’t one. You are the best thing that has ever come into my life and I never want you to leave it. I never want us to grow apart. I only want our hearts to grow closer together. Just know that I love you. I love you so much. Remember what I said about love. Like that its like giving you my everything. My heart, my mind, body, everything. Love to me isn’t something to mess with or to play with. Cause it hurts when things go wrong. So I’m going to leave you with a question: Will you spend the rest of your life with me?

I swear that question isn’t me asking you to marry me. But I know that I want you in my life till I go to meet God. I want us to spend the rest of our lives together. Honestly.

Faithfully and Eternally yours,

Jay

He bought it with the money he got from his chores

He robbed a candy shop, told her, “lay down on the floor

Put the cookies in the bag, take the pennies out the drawer”

Lil’ Khalil got a gun he got from the rebels

To kill the infidels and American devils

A bomb on his waist, a mask on his face

Prays five times a day and listens to heavy metal

Little Alex got a gun he took from his dad

That he snuck in the school in his black book bag

His black nail polish, black boots and black hat

He gonna blow away the bully that just pushed his ass

Little Weapon

Little Weapon

Little Weapon

Little Weapon

I killed another man today

Shot him in the back as he ran away

Then I blew up his hut with a hand grenade

Cut his wife’s throat as she put her hands to pay

“Just five more dogs, then we can get a soccer ball”

At least that’s what my commander say

How old? Well I’m like ten, eleven

Been fighting since I was like six or seven

Now I don’t know much about where I’m from

But I know I strike fear everywhere I come

Government want me dead so I wear my gun

I really want the rocket launcher but I’m still too young

This candy give me courage not to fear no one

To feel no pain and hear no tongue

So I hear no screams and I shed no tear

If I’m in your dreams, then your end is near

Little weapon, little weapon, little weapon, we’re calling you

There’s a war, if the guns are just too tall for you

We’ll find you something small to use

Little weapon, little weapon, little weapon, we need you now, pow

Little Weapon

Now here comes the march of the boy brigade

A macaw parade of the toys he made

And in shimmers shades, who look half his age

About half the size of the flags they wave

Camouflage suits made to fit youths

Cause ones off of dead soldiers hang a little loose

Where AK-47’s that they shooting into heaven

Like they trying to kill a Jetson that struggles little recruits

Cute, smileless, heartless, valiant’s

Childhood destroyed, devoid of all childish ways

Can’t write their own names

Or read the words that’s on their own graves

Think you gangsta, popped a few rounds?

These kids will come through and murder a whole town

Then sit back and smoke and watch it burn down

The graves get deeper the further we go down

Little weapon, little weapon, little weapon, we’re calling you

There’s a war, if the guns are just too tall for you

We’ll find you something small to use

Little weapon, little weapon, little weapon, we need you now, pow

Imagine if I had to console

The families of those slain I slayed on game consoles

I, aim my hole, right trigger to squeeze

Press up and Y, one less ass breathe

B for the bombs, press pause for your moms

Make the room silent, she don’t approve of violent games

She leave, resume activity

Start in blue heart, subpar sharp wizardry

On next part I, insert code

To sweeten up the little person’s murder workload

Artillery work for, CIA with A

A operative, a operate to scam all day

I hold the controller connected to the soldier

With weapons on his shoulders, he’s only seconds older

Than me, me, playful but serious

Now keep that on mind for online experience

Little weapon, little weapon, little weapon, we’re calling you

There’s a war, if the guns are just too tall for you

We’ll find you something small to use

Little weapon, little weapon, little weapon, we need you now, pow

Little weapon, little weapon, little weapon, we’re calling you

There’s a war, if the guns are just too tall for you

We’ll find you something small to use

Little weapon, little weapon, little weapon, we need you now, pow